Gary's Memorial

I attended the memorial service of my friend Gary last night. I have been to far too many of these things in recent years. Sigh

Though I knew this already, Gary spent the last several years of his life quietly serving others. Of the few hundred people at the memorial, about a dozen or so took the podium to share something specific from Gary's story. The first was a 14 year old boy, whom Gary had mentored at church. Sobbing, this lad shared that when life got tough for him, as it often did, "Gary was the first person I always wanted to talk to."

Gary's life touched so many from so many different walks of life. Having been in prison many years ago, he weekly visited others who are in prison now. Fourteen of those people sent written notes of gratitude to the Memorial.

With the help of Jesus, Gary beat a substance abuse problem (that led to his incarceration) and spent the rest of his life helping others beat addictions. Several of those people were at the service to express their heartfelt appreciation for all of Gary's efforts.

Gary was a business owner, and met with a small band of other business owners (where I met him) every Thursday. There were CEOs who shared their memories of Gary as a man who wanted to reflect Jesus at work.

Gary was involved in his home church (and other churches) and people from all walks of life at these churches shared how Gary had touched their lives.

Gary was a Father, and his two children each took the podium to share what a great dad they had and how much they will miss him. His daughter, through tears and while holding her own 2 year old son, said "I had the greatest dad in the world."

It is clear that Gary lived a quality life. The best definition of success I have ever heard is:

True success is when the people who know you best, love and respect you the most.

One man shared a quote from Gary that shed true light on the perspective from which he lived his life.

We are not Human Beings having a Spiritual experience --
We are Spiritual Beings having a Human experience.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
AND
Gary Tewell

I can only hope to have as much love and appreciation expressed when I leave this earth as my friends have had. I love and miss each one of you: Patty, Merlyn and now Gary. You continue to inspire me.

A Sudden Reminder

Life is sweet and death is bitter

I have been getting together for breakfast each week with a small group of fellow business owners for the past 7 years. We talk about relationship with Jesus, tell one another stories, laugh and sometimes bear one another's burdens.

We need no reminders about where we will be Thursday morning at 6:30. It is a priority, not because of obligation, but because we like each other and it is a highpoint of our week.

This past Thursday one of our number, Gary, did not appear as he normally does. Though he rarely misses a meeting, we were aware that he had recently returned from Florida and we assumed he was merely trying to catch up with his business.

We were wrong.

On Wednesday Gary had risen early, had a quiet time with God, took his dog out for a jog around the neighborhood and returned to get ready for work. After starting the shower to let it warm up on an unseasonably cold April morning, Gary's wife, Jeanie, heard a loud thud. She called out to him, but there was no answer. She tried the door and found him collapsed, lying in front of it. Gary's teenage son ran to call 911. Jeanie began CPR.

Today, Gary lies in a hospital clinging to life via artificial means. He is unaware of his surroundings as best we can tell. The doctors say that his massive heart attack has deprived his brain of oxygen for too long. There is brain damage.

I have been to visit Gary twice over these past few days. I am profoundly saddened by the sudden losses he, his family and all his friends have experienced. Tears flow easily.

But Gary is a man of faith. God rescued him from a prison cell several years back and set his life in a new direction. I believe God can rescue him again now. But if God choses not to rescue, Gary will join Jesus in a personal celebration of resurrection during this Easter season.

As the 16th century Puritan, John Hooper, said before he was martyred for his faith:

Eternal life is MORE sweet and Eternal death is MORE bitter

Join me in prayer for Gary, his wife, two children and one grandson; and for all those who love him and whom he loves.

UPDATE 4-15-07 -- Gary went to be with Jesus Thursday evening. The men from our Thursday morning group went to see him that day after or meeting. We are profoundly saddened by this loss, but are confident that all the lives Gary has touched have been changed in some good way, and that change will live on in us and in those we touch.

Thank you for your continued prayers on behalf of Gary's family.